Chimera

Been on a bit of a poetry kick lately. I have been writing a lot of pieces using Greek mythology, religious ideology, symbolism. Most of my inspiration comes from deep feelings of regret, remorse, solitude and self-hatred. I don't mean to go emo on you guys, but I just wanted to tell you where my ideas are rooted. I have been dealing with a lot, and it comes out in my writing.

One of them uses MLP references to describe a person who hurts those he loves most. I call it Chimera because it was written from the point of view of Discord. While he is not called a chimera on the show (I can't even remember what convoluted word they used for him), that is technically what he is. A chimera is a mythical beast made of many parts.

Below I am including the text of the poem. I didn't intend to share it when I wrote it, but then, I didn't expect it to come out as good as it did. I figure if anyone can appreciate the symbolism I used in this, my fellow MLP fans can.

I hope you like it.

Chimera

I am not a unicorn,
a beast of beauty fair.
Nor am I a zookeeper
who's always shy and scared.

I am not the one who flies
and clears away the clouds.
I am not a student
of which teachers can be proud.

I cannot maintain the trees
that bear the luscious fruit.
I cannot throw parties
that can last a day or two.

I am a chimera
For I'm made of many parts.
And see that you don't get too close
I'll always break your heart.

I cause naught but chaos
whene'er I come around
I'll throw your whole world out of whack.
I'll turn it upside down!

I'll pull right at your heartstrings.
I'm quite the puppeteer.
You'll be left alone and gray
if you dare get too near.

I am not, as you may think,
What I appear to be.
For Frankenstein he never built
A monster quite like me.

Please don't try to be a friend
To chaos and discord
For in the end the price you'll pay
you really can't afford.

For I am a chimera
There is no harmony.
My elements are pain and woe.
I crush those close to me.

Apologies for the Absence

Greetings, my friends. I would like to first and foremost apologize for being gone for so long. MLP is not something that I just expressed a brief interest in and then forgot about. I still have episodes on my computer that I watch all the time, I keep fandom music on my phone (<3 MandoPony and AcousticBrony) and I try and keep up with any updates about the Season 5 premier next year.

My absence has been due to personal reasons, you see. If you are interested in hearing about my woes, stick around. If not, I understand. I think Applejack might have some fresh candied apples if you hurry over there. All of this has a purpose, though. There's a reason I'm telling you.

Some of you may know (but most of you won't) that I was living in Louisiana until just recently. In order to move closer to my fiance in Michigan and find work to eventually save up the money to move there, I was invited by my family to come to Illinois. I stay in a small town home/apartment with my mother and sister. Things were fine at first until my mother decided she hated having me around. She has treated me with nothing but hostility since. After the internet was cut and I was reduced to coming to the library to check email and whatnot, I put my fandom communications on the back burner. When life gets bad, you have to prioritize.

And things have gotten bad. I don't make as many hours as I'd like at this point, since it is winter and I am a fairly new employee. I started avoiding spending time at home even when I'm off work just so I don't have to be around such hostility. I only go home to sleep and shower. When the temperature is below freezing, this can get pretty miserable. I obviously can't sit in the McDonald's all day, not only because they wouldn't allow it but because I don't have the money to do so. Since she has, in her dislike of me, banned me from eating at home, I have to spend what little money I have feeding myself, and even that isn't much. Most of the time, I cannot afford to buy anything resembling food, so I go hungry.

All because I was supposed to come here and save money to be with Zane. Even Zane will tell you I'm not a deadbeat. I have a very hard time charity (even he has a hard time getting me to accept money from him) and I like working for what I have. I try and live my life according to a code of ethics. I don't lie, I don't steal, I don't beg and I don't do harm to others. I try and treat everyone with as much respect as I can. I'm a pacifist and I believe in peaceful solutions, respect and kindness for my fellow man and lending a helping hand whenever possible. These are ideas promoted by MLP as well. MLP teaches us to be kind and respectful and accepting of each other, to treat each other with kindness and to love without hesitation or expectation.

I've tried to live my life by these principles, even before getting into MLP, and I've tried to be a friend to everyone. In return, I've been kicked like a mongrel dog repeatedly and had every dream of mine dashed against the rocks like a Biblical infant. All I ever asked out of this life was a chance to be with the one I love so dearly, and instead I'm starving to death and spend half of my time shivering and wishing I had nothing stopping me from jumping headfirst into traffic. We have these big eighteen wheelers that haul pigs to the processing plant, you see, and they drive by all the time. And sometimes when the hunger gets bad and I can't feel my fingers, those speeding trucks look inviting...

But I digress. I couldn't do such a thing to Zane. No, the point I'm trying to make is I've been away because as much as I like MLP, it's hard to talk about promoting ideas such as love and tolerance and kindness when all they've gotten me is a hard kick in the teeth. I thought ideas like karma were supposed to promote the idea that doing good for others without expectation will cause good to return to you? I strive for nothing but to make the world a better place (more like Equestria, if you like) and I've been spit upon.

So yeah. Obviously I haven't been in the mood to talk about cartoons. Maybe if things get better, I'll come back. Those of you who might be interested in keeping in touch with me during these trials are welcome to message me at ahopper2 at gmail dot com.

Thanks. Hope to see you again someday.